Monday, January 6, 2014

You Know You're in Malaysia When:

*This is another blog draft that I wrote but never published abroad. When I found and read this I laughed and found it very entertaining so I decided to publish it here.

You Know You're in Malaysia When:

-When talking about someone the first question asked is, “What race are they” ie Indian, Malay, or Chinese. Unfortunately despite "Satu Malaysia" efforts racial stereotyping is very prominent, although it isn’t polite to say so.

- Walking through the night market the vendors switch from yelling in Malay to yelling in English once they see a white person.

-You are fluent in broken English, finding it much more easy than proper English.

-You have caught the “lah virus” and add in lah, leh, loh to spice up your conversations.

-Begin to think all white people look the same.

-Don’t blink an eye when your host mom drives the wrong direction down a one way street.

-Must park under shade only lah.

-Forget how to use a knife. Find eating with fork/spoon, hands or chopsticks much easier.

-Don’t find it offensive when someone calls another person fat or point out that they have pimples.

-Have gotten used to only spending a few ringgit for a full meal or public transport. Are shocked at how expensive everything is when visiting Singapore, even though it is still less expensive than America.

- Are used to going to shopping malls at least three times weekly.

-Are shocked if you don’t take rice at least once a day.

-Hang out in the mall for free air-conditioning.

-Can de-bone a fish with chopsticks only (one of my most proud accomplishments)

-Have a shock when you see your American friends fighting with their parents on Skype. The thought of disrespecting an elder makes you cringe. (I'm sure my American parents wished I still thought this way lol)

-Reaction to everything is either “Aiyo!”,  “Cannot be lah!”,  “Wah!” or “Serious??”

-Are used to aunties criticizing e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.  Very loudly.

-Random strangers want to know your siblings names and why they aren’t married yet.

-If too lazy to explain something just say “Never-mind lah”

-Haven’t felt the feeling of hunger since you entered the country.

-One of your favorite things to do is to have supper late at night at a mamak with your friends.
-Must drink tea before bed or whenever you are stressed.

-Respond to “Girl” as if it’s your name (might as well be.)

-Will drive an hour away just for dinner

-Eat out at least once a day, sometimes three times a day. This is common since cooking at home is considered more expensive than eating out. Also the restaurants and food stalls are so good and so plentiful it is worth it.

-The thought of eating chicken feet makes your mouth water!


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  2. one more, you know you're in Malaysia when you take a shower 3 times a day